After many changes and consultations with tutors, classmates and Ed Hooks I present the final version of the script:
About Ed's feedback:
Ed gave me really great hints how to improve my script. Beside of really nice ideas, he showed me two things that are not working in my story:
1. Carl does not have any obstacles. He just mows his lawn and that's it.
2. The characters are not interacting. These are two separate stories going on at the same time.
I was really confused because I had no idea what to do. Changing the script to get rid of these weaknesses would complicate the story. But from the other hand, the script would be.. proper.
So, the next day I told about Ed's insights to tutors and classmates.
Everybody agreed to leave the script as it is, because it is working and people still are having fun.
Pheeew! Good!
Ed mentioned that my story reminds him of 'The Tortoise and the Hare'. I totally forgotten about that one!
The moral is the same - and it still works!
I've got the new storyboard (to be scanned) and currently working on animatic using.. Flash! Good old times.
Stay tuned!
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